As residual COVID-19 distancing guidelines continue on throughout the Holiday season, the distance oftentimes becomes unbearable. I annually get hit with nostalgia and pain from the hurts left over from years of not knowing or being able to find my place. Realizing that in my youth I was deeply close with my family, but over the years with trauma and moving and life changes all around that closeness is gone and I did not establish many solid friendships. Before COVID hit earlier this year, I could count on one hand the number of friends I have had over the years.I have fewer friends at this stage in life that truly know me and my family, and fewer still whom I know said information about.
Looking at the Holiday things around me, I am hit with memories of what I have experienced with my family of origin, what I miss about it and what I currently wish our children had. I am hit with the reality of the way our society is, and oftentimes I sit a bit dumbfounded and unable to process how life’s trajectory got us to this point.
Truly, I tell you, I need to be much more intentional and live life with more purpose than I have been. I grew up in a reactory lifestyle for far too long; and our children have sadly picked that habit up. We need to get unstuck and it is up to me to broaden their perspectives with Right living. This is more challenging than I would like to admit, because my anxiety also gets in the way.
I saw a video this morning about a young boy who died because of COVID, but not because he had gotten ill. Because depression from the isolation became too great a burden for him to bear. And that made me think of our children, and how they are processing everything and how they are feeling with everything constantly changing and how they don’t yet have the skills required to handle things of this proportion. It amazes me how resilient they are, but friends…this is by no means an okay thing for us to just accept and write off. I have been trying to find a way for my children to have outside contact with people, whether it be via messages, video chats, phone calls and the like…we have even resorted to snail mail…because human interaction is so crucial.
It intrigues me that God created us with the deep need for human interaction and community and yet we often-times withdraw into ourselves (or have government required distancing like this pandemic). I have learned that the enemy uses distance to get in between us and God and us and one another. When we feel great shame or sadness, we close into ourselves and we go home and we hide away—we don’t want to have fun or be bothered or we feel like a burden to those trying to work through their stuff, so we keep it to ourselves. The thing about that, is that the enemy likes it when we don’t reach out for help, or when we see someone struggling and decide not to do or say anything about it. Because then he gets a foothold in it.
I reached out for my son on my personal social media, and I mentioned to my friends and community that this COVID isolation was really weighing heavily on him and that he missed having friends around or doing silly, fun activities with others. I mentioned in my post that I wasn’t really as bothered by the distance as he was-because I had grown accustomed to it and being an introvert I truly enjoy the peace and quiet. I want to share that over the last few months, that has started to change and I have started reaching out more myself, because to be alone is not good for us. For a time to unwind, or process thoughts or emotions, surely…but don’t stay in the alone.
It is in the alone that we can allow our grief to become too much. Our thoughts overbearing, our emotions unmanageable, our ability to cope dislocated from us. Yesterday, I came across a wonderful resource while I was scrolling through my social media, and I gave it a try to verify if it was legitimate before sharing it. If you are lonely/hurting/feeling suicidal or having dark thoughts; you can text HOME to the number 741741. It is The Crisis Counselor, and they automatically will send you a link of resources while they connect you with a live person to talk with.
I didn’t realize that I was feeling lonely until I reached out to them. I simply stated that I was verifying a resource as legitimate, but they continued to talk with me, let me vent a bit and made sure that I was okay and safe. Only once they felt confident that I was in a good place did they bring our conversation to a close to help someone else. I am in a good place, but I do struggle with depression and anxiety as I have mentioned before. And this social distancing can have you wondering if your friendships are still intact, if you should/shouldn’t participate in small events and the like. So to have someone say you’re experiencing something normal and I am here for you….that is amazing.
It was a relief I didn’t even think I needed. I encourage you to reach out as well. If you don’t feel this resource is for you, that’s okay, reach out to someone else. Randomly call or send a text to someone in your contacts list that you have thought of or haven’t checked in with in a while, because you know what? They’re probably thinking of you also and wondering how you’re doing, and they may need the relief of knowing they’re not alone, and it can help you both.
I am thankful God has provided the blessing of slowing down during this season and re-establishing friendships and important values that the busyness of life tends to truck down. Breathe my friend, everything is going to be okay. Let the sun shine on your beautiful face.
